BUTTER CASE STUDY: Butter Fix Your MC’s Face
Why Your Character’s Most Human Trait Might Unintentionally Turn Readers Off
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Butter Fix Case Study:
The main character is a total mensch,
but their hot romantic interest leaves readers cold.
Every so often, I get to provide feedback on a character introduction issue that’s come up in more than one of the Butter Beginning Salons.
In this case, the author presented a romance with a fun premise: Two guys, A and B, have a hot one-night stand after meeting in a bar and then unexpectedly meet cute again at a charity event. It turns out B is a rich scion.
The first chapter introduces B as a caring doctor with a lot on his plate. He’s then begged to attend a charity event in the place of an older doctor. Even though he has a lot going on, he agrees to go to advocate for his research, which will help many people.
This gives B an easy ACRS (Audience-Character Relationship State) point of 1 because the audience admires this character for his compassion and dedication to his cause.
ACRS NOTE: One of the most important things to establish for a Butter Beginning is how you as the author want your audience to feel about your character from the jump. It’s fine if those feelings change over the course of the book, but the Butter Beginning goal is for your character to score at least one ACRS point with their introduction.
The four Audience-Character Relationship States we’ll be focusing on in this post are…
Rooting For (Lord of the Rings)
Admire (Harriet)
Feel Sorry For (Legally Blonde)
Aroused By: Keep in mind, arousal includes everything from They’re So Attractive (Jake from Sixteen Candles) to I Hate Them So Much (Joffrey, Game of Thrones)
Great. The audience is warmed up to B and willing to watch him get the love he deserves for being such an admirable individual.
But then we’re introduced to his romantic interest, A, who meets up with his best girlfriend to complain about and drink away his horrible day.
This is where the story’s beginning runs into its biggest issue. Character A racks up an ACRS of -0 because he falls into one of the most common reader turn-offs I see across genres: complaining and only complaining during their character introduction.
This is an understandable issue for writers to have.
Authors want to establish that their characters have some juicy conflict to overcome. Having their main character simply state all the (often valid) things going on with him seems like a normal human way to quickly catch the audience up on what’s going on with one of your MCs.
But that’s why I always say Book Life isn’t Real Life—readers don’t respond to characters the same way they do to real people. And you’d be surprised how many completely normal human behaviors can actually turn readers off a character:
Complaining.
Running away from the alien/mafia boss/OTT1 billionaire who’s kidnapped you more than two times. (Those Holy Stockholm Syndrome reviews aren’t going to write themselves).
Agreeing to be someone’s paid fake date simply because the extra money would be nice.
Encouraging your best gay friend to come out to at least his older, sexy, future ally of a brother as opposed to agreeing to be his beard and causing that brother significant turmoil.
Pooping. Like any kind of pooping. I’m shocked that The Martian by Andy Weir and Venomous by Penelope Fletcher are still the only novels in any genre that I’ve read that directly deals with poop.
But that’s a whole ’nother Substack post. Let’s get back to this one.
Here’s my feedback to the writer of this piece about how to fix this super-common problem.
The Feedback:
Why A Struggles with ACRS:
A only talks and thinks about himself while meeting up with his best friend.
He complains about everyone standing in his way.
He criticizes his best friend for being too “woo-woo.”
He even complains about his rich father.
The result? A comes across as self-absorbed and entitled. At this point, B has a strong ACRS of 1, while A is lagging far behind.
I suspect you would like for us to Feel Sorry For A. But if your audience is going to Feel Sorry For—or even Root For—A, you’ll need to rework how he’s introduced.
Building Sympathy for A
Here’s a key rule: Readers feel sorry for characters who refuse to feel sorry for themselves.
When a main character complains about their circumstances—especially if they’re privileged—it often reads as whiny or entitled. In contrast, characters who face challenges with determination and resilience inspire admiration and sympathy.
Examples of “Feel Sorry For” Done Right:
Legally Blonde:
Setback: Elle Woods is cruelly dumped by her boyfriend.
Response: Instead of wallowing, she proves herself by excelling at law school.
Jerry Maguire:
Setback: Jerry is fired in a humiliating and public way.
Response: He fights back by starting his own agency and excelling at agenting.
Fourth Wing:
Setback: Violet is forced to join dragon rider school against her will and dreams (she wanted to be a scribe).
Response: She rises to the challenge and proves herself worthy.
Grey’s Anatomy:
Setback: Meredith faces accusations of coasting on her family name.
Response: Instead of complaining, she works hard to prove herself—and earns our admiration in the process.
Fixing A’s ACRS:
If you want readers to Root For A, here are some Butter Fixes to consider:
Give him a specific setback:
Instead of vague complaints, show A facing a tangible challenge. For example, he arrives at the bar after a terrible day with the clear goal of drowning his misery in a drink—and maybe some good company.
Focus on his goal:
Consider having A actively working toward something, even if he’s frustrated. Notice that all the characters in “done right” example immediately refocus on a main goal.
Let others advocate for him:
Have another character complain on A’s behalf, showing readers his struggle is real without making A come across as whiny.
Show self-awareness:
A can acknowledge his frustration and resolve to do better, earning admiration through introspection.
Balance the scene:
If A complains, make it mutual2. For example, have both characters vent about their terrible days to each other, creating a shared moment of connection.
TL;DR:
Book Life ≠ Real Life.
In real life, venting is understandable—even encouraged. I’ve already vented to various friends about various things at least three times today. But in book life, venting can read as whining—especially if the character has more privilege than the average reader.
To build a strong ACRS score during your character introduction, focus on specific setbacks, clear goals, or unfair treatment that makes your audience feel about this character the way you want them to feel about this character.
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Over the Top
A Great Balancing the Scene Example to Study
If you have an Apple+ subscription, check out episode 2 of Season 4 of For All Mankind, which features a brilliant “after-work complaint session” between two characters who’ve had terrible days and meet up in a bar. The scene is balanced, relatable, and draws the audience into both characters’ frustrations.
Theodora,
As always, you notice the crucial points that Readers will notice!
Thanks for being a fabulous writer coach,
Cathryn