Butter Blurb Breakdown
A Dumpster Fire Chosen One With Big Potential!
Heyo, Butter Writers!
Huge, extra-special thanks to today’s featured author for letting us mine their blurb for Butter.
Here’s the original blurb:
I wouldn’t say my life is a dumpster fire—but it’s far from typical. I’m frenemies with the local werewolves’ Alpha, my clients are shady as hell, and my magic falls firmly in the WTF category. Mephisto, my mysterious and powerful client, is more interested in my magic than the jobs he’s hired me for. And I’m pretty sure my court-ordered therapist thinks I’m an ass.
Maybe it’s not a dumpster fire, but it is a hot mess.
That said, I’m good at my job. Anytime a curse goes wrong, a magical object is lost, or a rogue supernatural needs apprehending, I’m the person you call.
My new assignment is supposed to be simple: Just find a coveted magical object. Instead my client is abducted, I’m pulled into the underbelly of the magical world, and a spell is cast on me that reveals a mark of the raven.
Now I’m being hunted by the people I used to hunt. I’ve piqued the interest of the magical elite.
And I don’t know who wants me as an ally and who wants me dead.
I have to fix this.
Because if I don’t, I won’t survive.
Butter Pass Breakdown
🔥 This blurb is already on and popping with Butter!
I love the strong character voice and the urgent fix this or die energy at the end. The stakes feel immediate and high-pressure, which is exactly what we want in a Butter-filled blurb.
Butter Code:
🟨 Yellow Highlight = BUTTER!!
🔵 Blue Highlight = Potential to Be Butter
🌸 Dark Pink Highlight = Confusion Point
🟢 Green Highlight = Suggested change (feel free to disregard)
🟢 Green Beginning Highlight = Moved for better flow
🟢 Green Words = Suggested word choice or added clarity
🌸 Pink Words = Consider deleting
Here’s the Butter Pass version with highlights applied:
And here’s my feedback….
Butter Breakdown Feedback
Universal Fantasy(s) at Play:
📖 Supernatural with Untapped Potential Gets a Case/Thrown Into a Situation That Forces Growth
🔥 Dumpster-Fire Life Chosen One (Red Rising, Hunger Games)
🃏 Wise-Ass Gets Pulled Into a Real Mission
🏚️ Life Fixer-Upper
Butter Comp(s):
🧈 The Dresden Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
What’s Already Working (Butter! 🧈):
✔ The character voice – A well-done wise-ass automatically earns an ACRS1 point for "Entertained By."
✔ Strong last line – Urgency + survival stakes = chef’s kiss!
✔ Clear trope appeal – This blurb screams Urban Fantasy with a twist.
OPPORTUNITY: Adding One More ACRS Point:
✅ Why should the audience care if this character dies?
Right now, we’re Entertained By this MC, but an extra point in the Rooting For or Feel Sorry For categories could help make this a one-click blurb.
Example from Midlife Bounty Hunter by Shannon Mayer:
👉 At forty-one, I didn’t think I’d be starting over. But I’ll be damned if my ex thinks I’m down and out because he pulled a fast one on me.
Other ways to add this emotional hook:
🔹 Tie the stakes to a loved one in danger (Taken by Fate by Shannon Mayer).
🔹 Connect to a larger world-saving mission (Red Rising by Pierce Brown).
OPPORTUNITY: Anchoring Your Stakes
🔵 I’ve piqued the interest of the magical elite.
But why is this an "oh no!" moment? What are the actual consequences of their interest? Clarifying the stakes will make this blurb hit harder.
CONSIDER: Tightening and Streamlining for Maximum Butter
⚡ Move the character intro to the top to let readers connect with the MC right away.
⚡ Label Your Monsters – Instead of “people I used to hunt,” use something specific (Werewolves? Blood mages? Fae baddies?). Readers appreciate a good monster label2.
Final Thoughts
This blurb is already strong, and a touch more audience character connection and stakes clarity could make it irresistible.
What’s ACRS? Audience Character Relationship State—how your readers emotionally connect to and care about your MC. We talk about this a ton in the Bestseller Magic Course, and it will also be broken down for the Butter Beginnings Master Class.
I personally will go gaga over anything with a gargoyle. Disney has no idea how many future monster romance readers and writers they awoke with their afterschool series, Gargoyles.